Has grown up.. is still growing up

As I am about to enter work life soon (should I be able to find employment), and enter a lifestage that involves me getting closely associated with another family, the stakes of privacy increase. The public character of Facebook and blogs has also evolved so much that it seems increasingly important to be careful of what gets put up, and what can get misinterpreted or misused. With the adult demands of having to be politically correct, I believe I should leave evidences of my life, opinions and prejudices out of public sight. (=

I have hardly updated my blog and am unsure of there are any left in this blog's following. Nonetheless, for those who have still faithfully come on once in a while, here's my final post and a quick update.

I started this blog when I was 17 and in Junior College. I am now 24. So much has changed. Besides my skin and hair getting drier with age, and the transition from one educational institution to another, so much more has changed within me.

As I read some of my old entries, I feel embarrassed now that I am able to see my prejudices, idealism and naivity in clearer view. It is a lot easier to identify them now, thankfully because I hold less of them. (but unfortunately and probably, caught on to some new ones too.)

Biggest changes that I am proud I have acheived in the last few years:

1. A decline of fundamentalism - mostly religious, but also universal. I am now more tolerant of differences in behaviour, modes of thinking and values. This has also allowed me to accept, not just others, but myself more.
2. A more stable and happy me. Because I no longer strive to fit in a mold I had so tightly carved for everyone else, and myself, I am freer to pursue what I really want.

My apologies to those whom I have stepped on in my years of fundamentalism and self-righteousness.

Thank you all for reading the musings of the Honking Hink.

*Close family and friends will still have access to my irreverant thoughts at your risk.

Email from an Old Student I Taught 4 Years Ago

from: Dollie Dollie <___________@gmail.com>
to: Miss Chen <____________@gmail.com>

date: Sat, Sep 27, 2008 at 7:30 AM
subject: Re: I change my email again..


Dear Miss Chen,
How are you? Are you in Singapore? Haha! I changed my email again! It's my birthday again! Yay!
Have you graduated? Can you send me some of you pictures? I kinda of forgot how you look like..hehe
Next year would be a tough year for me..P6! PSLE...Please reply me as soon as possible..Thx


Regards,
Delphina(Your beloved student)
'I will never ever forget You!'

Hubris is...

Individuals willingly training for more than a year to perform with unbelievably un-human-like synchrony at the Beijing Olympics opening.

Visually replacing the pudgy crooked-teethed young singer with a lip-synching symmetrically sweet girl.

Allocating national funds, dedicating one's entire body and life for a sport and subjecting the self to so much stress -- all to get a medal worth hardly $5 symbolising global recognition.

A retired Chinese citizen learning English at his own cost in order to pass an entire battery of tests to give him the eligibility to volunteer hosting the exodus of Olympics tourists.(Watch "Mad about English" for more on the Chinese spirit.)

___________________

All aren't necessarily bad. But I find the lengths that people would go for the human pride simply amazing. Rationality and pragmatism have no say when pride is at stake.

An Attempt at An Update After 6 Months

(= Thanks to your you-haven't-been-blogging-in-a-while-and-yes-we-actually-do-go-check-your-blog-every-now-and-then, Edmond and Dale, I shall start blogging again (though I'm not sure whether my next blogging hiatus would come immediately after this entry, or a few days or months later).

I was thinking of theatre-movie-show blogging as a new year's resolution. I watch so many shows a year -- an average of one per month, 2-3 times a month if you count movies. It is a pity not to put my impression and thoughts of it down some where, which would aid in solidifying my memory of it and also helping to promote good art.

I have not blogged or written in my diary for so long that I am verbally a little dry and hesitant now. (Yes, I actually do keep a written diary. Don't you dare laugh at me -- sometimes it is what keeps me sane when there isn't anyone to hear me sort my thoughts out aloud.) It is now almost a challenge not to write sentences with the same structure,
"I (verb) (descriptive phrase)."
or
"It is (descriptive phrase in the passive voice)."

Just check out the first few sentences above this.

Ooh, congratulate me! Yey, I've just completed two sentences without that structure. Oh sheesh, I just broke that chain with the previous sentence ("Yey" is not an excuse).

Oh dear me, I am rambling.

Speaking of rambling and losing focus in thought, I have noticed my Mum entering the early stages of that zone as she ages. She turns 60 this year and still enjoys her work as a lawyer, dealing largely with conveyancing (the kind of lawyer who does not do those sensational court cases, but tonnes of paper work involving the transaction of private property).
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.
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In writing/blogging, time does not run real time, so I was chatting for the last 2 hours in between the last paragraph and this.

I wanted to talk about the latest show I watched, "Beauty World (cha cha cha!)" by Wild Rice held @ the Esplanade this January, but I am already tired out. Till the next entry then.

Ice cream

I had ice-cream alone yesterday.

)=

Ice-cream is a social food. Social foods are usually relatively expensive in comparison to its nutritional content or benefits, unhealthy and extravagant. That's why it takes the high-inducing company of others to put one's good sense at bay -- long enough to make a usually-considered-irrational decision to go for ice-cream, potato chips, popcorn, nachos, pao pao cha, chocolate, cakes, and other desserts/snacky food.

I had ice-cream alone yesterday because a new gelato shop in Novena Square caught my eye. I am a sucker for good gelato, and I have been disappointed with the gelato I have been getting in Singapore ever since my favourite shop in Bugis closed down. (Oh, Scoopz is not too a substitute.) So I had to try this new shop out.

The gelato shop attendant was a young boy of about 16. Very boyish, very cute smile.

I wondered how long this shop had been in Novena Square since I had never seen it before. As the obviously older woman in this setting, I did the aunty thing, pointed to the shop sign and asked the young lad, "How long have you been here?"

He looked stunned, took a moment, then replied, "Oh. I've only been here for a week." Then he grinned at me with his boyish eyes, boyband hair, and charming smile.

Die. I was flushed with embarrassment as I realised that the young lad had thought I was asking him about how long he had been working here.

The boy then mustered up whatever little pubescent muscle he had to scoop up a ball of my Ferrero Rocher gelato. (Tip: Good gelato shouldn't be that hard to scoop.)

Meanwhile, I pondered about how I could salvage the embarrassing situation and emerge with my dignity unscathed.

"Wah, this is hard work. No wonder they need a boy at this shop." I mentally remarked aloud.

Darn. I really need to stop my mouth sometimes.

Neh-mind. I just continued playing my Aunty role.

"You want cup or cone?" he blinked at me.

"Hm.. cone lah. Cup cannot eat, cone can eat right?" I auntily replied.

After a full agonising minute-and-a-half of digging and scooping, he handed me my gelato on a cone. I passed him a ten-dollar note and he returned my change with that same I'm-going-to-melt-you smile.

I held my head high and calmly walked away, but mentally, I was scurrying off as fast as I could respectably do so.

Nice boy, I thought. But it was the most inauthentic gelato by the way.