I am feeling totally lost. I don't know what to do. This unprecedented state of mind came immediately after I completed a bad day of mid-term tests (I had a Sociology essay and French test, along with a Philosophy paper due today). I believe I screwed them all up, but I have decided not to think about them and upset myself.
I feel so stupid. I should just get married, believe my husband when he says I'm clever, have lots of babies, and be one sexy mummy with her prenatal figure by the time my child hits his first year (I want daughters, but I suspect God will give me sons).
I want to do things that I thought I wanted to do while in the midst of preparing for this mid-term. But now that they are almost over, I don't know what I want to do anymore. Do I want to watch TV? Read the papers? Go to the movies? Chat online? Clean my room? Talk to everyone on my floor?
I don't know. I just don't feel like doing anything.
This has got to be the most spontaneous blog entry. I am writing it as instantaneously as these thoughts enter my mind. It's a mindless and trivial blog entry, what many bloggers write anyway.
I didn't feel like eating dinner today, so I exchanged my dinner coupon for 4 apples. I know if I don't eat dinner, I will get hungry later. But I didn't feel force-feeding myself at dinner. I forced-fed myself 3 times today simply for the same reason -- that if I didn't eat at that point, I would eventually be hungry and by that time, I won't be able to have access to food because I'm either sitting for my French or Soci test.
I don't like how I'm writing. I don't like seeing myself use "don't" instead of "do not". I don't like seeing my writing with "But's" as the first word of my sentences.
This is just reflective of my unprecedented mood. I just don't know what to do with myself. I have one last Malay test to study for tonight, but I can't bring myself to lift a productive finger.
I auditioned and got into hall production, but I'm not excited. I wish I was.
I'm talking too much and I don't like it.
I don't know what to do with myself.
I feel so stupid. I should just get married, believe my husband when he says I'm clever, have lots of babies, and be one sexy mummy with her prenatal figure by the time my child hits his first year (I want daughters, but I suspect God will give me sons).
I want to do things that I thought I wanted to do while in the midst of preparing for this mid-term. But now that they are almost over, I don't know what I want to do anymore. Do I want to watch TV? Read the papers? Go to the movies? Chat online? Clean my room? Talk to everyone on my floor?
I don't know. I just don't feel like doing anything.
This has got to be the most spontaneous blog entry. I am writing it as instantaneously as these thoughts enter my mind. It's a mindless and trivial blog entry, what many bloggers write anyway.
I didn't feel like eating dinner today, so I exchanged my dinner coupon for 4 apples. I know if I don't eat dinner, I will get hungry later. But I didn't feel force-feeding myself at dinner. I forced-fed myself 3 times today simply for the same reason -- that if I didn't eat at that point, I would eventually be hungry and by that time, I won't be able to have access to food because I'm either sitting for my French or Soci test.
I don't like how I'm writing. I don't like seeing myself use "don't" instead of "do not". I don't like seeing my writing with "But's" as the first word of my sentences.
This is just reflective of my unprecedented mood. I just don't know what to do with myself. I have one last Malay test to study for tonight, but I can't bring myself to lift a productive finger.
I auditioned and got into hall production, but I'm not excited. I wish I was.
I'm talking too much and I don't like it.
I don't know what to do with myself.
1 comment:
hello wail, sounds like a bad day you had. keep going ok? uni life can be quite traumatising at first. then you learn to cope with deadlines =) get familiar with the workload, what's required, then plan accordingly. i speak like an expert in the field... when i don't practice. BUT that aside... haha, um, make the best of your life in uni and the fun you have in hall =) anything, just call anytime. -ber
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