Never Underestimate The Importance of Girl Friends

I had a date with my TKGS-classmate girl friend, Berwine, yesterday evening.

Berwine’s not the typical girl, but maybe that’s why her character cliques pretty well with mine. Barely physically conscious (vain) and virtually oblivious to males around her, practical, often awkwardly clumsy as an ox, with a smirking grin and hairy arms, Ber Dar is quite a darling to me. Most of those descriptive phrases were more characteristic of her in secondary school.

Every once-in-a-few-months meeting with her always enthrals and surprises me because of the physical and outlook changes in her. This time around, it was her straightened and (albeit mild) highlighted hair, as well as being clad in a skirt and a sleeveless blouse (external features none of my secondary school classmates would ever have imagined tomboyish Berwine bearing).

However, some things never change, like those hairy arms. No offence, Berwine; those arms are really one of my affectionate favourites.

We had a fantastic time at Raffles City, just us two girls. For the first time, it felt like a girl friend outing with her. She’s grown into a girl, and our relationship now is so girl-friendish, which I love (not that I had any qualms about our previous friendship which wasn’t defined by our gender). We had the cheapest Subway sandwich, which was by itself yummy and unbelievably pleasing, but further enhanced by good hungry company. Next, we adjourned to New Zealand Ice-Cream where we each had a Chillo (some ice-blended chocolate-related whipped-cream-topped, overpriced drink) – another terrific part of the night.

Of course, the main element in the outing last night was the conversation. We discussed each other, how we were getting along in life, boyfriends in general and the specific ones, post-break-up blues, friendships, sibling rivalry and parents, politics in relationships, and many other miscellaneous aspects of life worthy of engaging and productive conversation.

There was also the supermarket stroll, 4 trips to the toilet and the back-to-school-days sitting on a stairway and chatting finale.

I was grinning bananas and bursting from the joy of experiencing and appreciating a friendship outside my relationship with Ly. It really was the appreciating part that made everything extra sweet – realising how much this friendship means to me and being extremely thankful for it.

Meanwhile, as I was enjoying my night with my girl friend, Ly was sweating pheromones with his best friend at an overcrowded public gym. Ly has regular weekly meetings with his hedonistic best buddy from his ACS days, which I at times did envy, because he seemed to be special to someone else too, other than to me. At those points in time, I felt I was only special to him and special to no one else. I didn’t know of anyone I could rely on emotionally or anyone who would look out for me as a good friend would. I didn’t have anyone I felt accountable to. I have a few good conversationalist friends, but at the end of the day, they aren’t the ones I saw myself calling up for just a no-purpose chat in the middle of the day.

I don’t know how I forgot Berwine. Then again, perhaps I didn’t forget her being such a friend, possibly because she never fell into that category of friends until recently when we graduated from friends of convenience (being in the same class) who are easily taken for granted because of their constant presence, to friends who make effort even when convenience isn’t at hand.